FYI Candidates – May 2008
Dealing With the Challenging Manager
By Orrick Nepomuceno, CPC
If you can say that you have never dealt with a challenging manager, then consider yourself among the few and the blessed, because they are a lot more common than not. In fact, you might find through research that issues or challenges with upper management ranks among the top reasons that individuals choose to leave their position. According to the State of Texas Employment Exit Survey results, leaving a position because of difficulties with others ranked fifth among fifteen choices. But in times of financial and economic uncertainty such as today, when even though the employment rates are low, there are still major issues in finding good work with which you can be happy, is it a viable alternative to leave the company just because of your manager? What if you are really happy in your position otherwise?
In this article, we explore the alternatives outside of quitting your position. We start off by defining what a difficult manager can bring to the work equation. Then, we examine the attitude at play in the workplace because of that challenging individual and then look at ways in which you can readjust your thinking. We wrap up by looking at some extreme examples of how you can deal with a pressing and burdening situation when it comes right down to it.
Difficult Managers Defined
A difficult manager comes in many shapes and sizes, and tends to run the gamut of challenges with which they can bring to the table. So, let’s look at some of the typical definitions of a difficult manager, and then we will get into how to best deal with them.
First and foremost, a difficult manager, for the most, part does not operate on the same level of emotional intelligence as a one who might be considered a good manager. They tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves, so to speak, and allow their emotions to play more of a role in their business decisions than any good manager should. For example, they tend to reward and penalize employees based on their personal feelings toward those individuals rather than their actual performance.
Such a manager also does not usually know how to properly regulate the workload of employees. I, for example, have worked with someone who once had a manager that was hired into a department in which he had no prior experience working, much less managing. This manager was such a spotlight hog, with no idea about workloads and how much time projects truly took to complete, that he was always over-committing his team, requiring them to work overtime to get projects completed so that he could take the glory. This leads also into yet another attribute of a difficult manager—one that takes credit for the work of others…a huge issue for those of you who have been in this position.
Now, these, of course, are just a few very specific examples of difficult managers. The attitudes, personalities and personal actions of your difficult manager may range from insensitivity, unfairness, or just downright incompetence. We’re not here to justify your reasoning in either direction, just provide you with scenarios and solutions.
XYA: Examine Your Attitude
First and foremost, you must understand one very crucial point: wherever you go, even if it is to the top-rated corporation within your industry for how it treats its employees, you are likely to find difficult employees with which you will have to face. Ask anyone and they will tell you that this is the case, so thinking that you are going to escape the issue by moving on is somewhat naïve.
Now, if you have decided that you want to stay in your current position and ride this out to the best of your ability, you must understand that your attitude has everything in the world to do with your situation. While many of your coworkers might feel the exact same way that you do, continuing to complain about the situation without making any formal complaint or taking action is doing you absolutely no good. Have you ever heard the saying, “You can’t gripe about the president if you didn’t vote?” The same principle is in play here. If you keep complaining about the situation, but do little to improve it, then what right exactly do you have to continue complaining?
Furthermore, by continuing to complain, you are actually setting the standard of what you will allow yourself to put up with, and not only that, what you expect to put up with. So, pay attention to your attitude and try to take the upper hand in all situations. By this, I mean that you should always think about working your hardest, having the best attitude, and performing to your full capability in every situation regardless of the difficult and persistent thorn in your side. Believe it or not, and I’ve seen it happen a million times, a difficult or under-performing individual will be found out sooner or later. Focusing on you is the best and most sure-fire plan for your career.
Extreme Measures
If taking one for the team absolutely is not working for you at this point in time, but you still do not want to leave your position, then you may want to take more extreme measures. One option is to report the manager to his or her manager. Be really careful when doing this, however. Many members of upper management require that they are then allowed to approach your manager to verify the claims, which could result in retaliation. Consult your organization’s policy regarding reprisal before you make such a move. Another and possibly even more viable option is to speak to the manager directly about the issue. According to workplace coach William Treasurer, author or “Right Risk,” “While challenging the manager is risky business, it’s got some real upside potential. When you offer your manager valuable feedback, he’ll come to value you as a trusted guide.”Yet again, check the policy about reprisal, keep meticulous notes and it may not even be a bad idea to let your manager know that you are going to record the meeting for your personal benefit in case anything should go awry.
Further Reading
If you are really in a rut, don’t want to quit your job, but are seeking some serious relief, then I recommend you read “Working With You Is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Traps at Work.” This book by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster will help you through dealing with challenging individuals at any level, but there are two chapters specifically dedicated to dealing with the difficult manager and managing up.
Orrick Nepomuceno, CPC is Vice President at Dick Wray Executive Search and author of Hitchhiker In the Corner Office: Avoiding The Top-10 Potholes So Your Employees Don’t Hit The Road. Orrick is also a contributing writer to the Nation’s Restaurant News’ NRNJobPlate.com where he writes about challenges facing job seekers and offers career advice for professionals in the restaurant industry. Visit his blog - Restaurant And Food service Blog.